“Slow down, you move too fast…” are the opening words to a song that popped into my head about two wine themed gifts that I received over the past Christmas Season. I can also relate to the classic scene when Reverend Jim Ignatowski is preparing for his drivers license test in Taxi “S L O W D O W N.” Why you may ponder am I in the mood for being slow? It is because the gifts that I received are to speed things up. I have to admit that I tend to have a lead foot when I am driving if there is no traffic around, like when we are on a road trip, but if there is traffic or inclement weather, I guarantee that you will be calling me names if you are stuck behind me; I have no intention of getting into an accident. The gifts that I am going to discuss, I think are geared to the instant gratification crowd. To my way of thinking the pleasure of enjoying wine is in the genteel manner that one goes about having a glass of wine, it is not like we are swilling wine from the bottle.

The first item is called “The Wine Bar” and it is basically a wand that one puts into the freezer ahead of time to chill. Then when a bottle of wine is brought up, one uncorks the bottle of wine and inserts the wand through the neck of the bottle and the wine is instantly chilled from the inside out. Most of the time, I can assure you that there are plenty of bottles already chilling in one of the two refrigerators, as we are always prepared, but I will give the benefit of the doubt that there just might be a chance that we run out of chilled wines and this will be the answer, without the use of a wine bucket and ice. One day, we will actually try it out and see.

The other gift is one that I have used at other people’s homes and it does work quite well. The Oster Electric Wine Opener is electric and once it has been plugged in and fully charged, it says that will open up thirty bottles of wine on one charge. That is impressive, but I have not had a party or been to a party where that many bottles have to opened at one time, except maybe at a large wine tasting gathering, but I guess one should always be like the Boy Scouts of America and “be prepared.” I guess it will join the other assorted cork screws that I have acquired over the years. I have a simple, but excellent screw that has been mounted in an antique grape vine that just requires brute strength. Then I have a collection of different types from the classic chrome plate cork screw with the two arms, to the classic waiter’s pocket knife version, and actually this is my favorite type. I also have a monster version that has to be mounted on a flat surface, and it used to reside in a restaurant. I also have a collection of “rabbit” cork screw that works very well, but I think the most important part of a corkscrew is the screw itself, if it is well designed it actually works itself into the cork without tearing the cork apart. As for the ones that have two blades of thin metal, I have yet to be successful with it. As you can tell, if you haven’t realized by now, I am a creature of habit, and I hate to be rushed, and “I will serve no wine, before it’s time.” So, far you readers that did not recognized the words to the song, I think that I shall go and open another bottle of wine and I will be “Feelin’ Groovy.”